[diary] 080426

A woman, some twenty plus years into a marriage, catches her husband at a brink of an affair. And to what she thinks to be the world, she announces, referring to the other woman, "that c*nt had an affair with my husband."

* * * * *

Years ago beyond the time my memory could capture, my father had an affair with an older, richer woman. Upon discovery, my mother did something entirely unexpected. Instead of confronting the woman, instead of confronting my dad, instead of making a scene and ruining his professional and social reputation, she went home to her parents, leaving all three of her children behind. It was no more than three days before my grandmother ordered my father to go and beg her to come back. She resisted and let it stretch out an entire week. When she came back home, the affair was over. For good. This story lay buried until many many years after my father passed away.

* * * * *

Apparently the woman's comment was made when my friend and I attended a concert in Santa Monica some months ago. She said it to Mr. S., who later told my friend of it. And my friend decided to tell me tonight, I guess, in celebration of our first get-together in five months.

"Did you see an old flame that night?" he asked me.

"No," I said. I was not lying.
"She probably mistook you for someone else. Of course, I defended your reputation."

I kept my cool smile and spared my words. We moved the conversation on to different subjects.

I had long sixty miles of drive home afterwards to think about what I might have said had I decided to flaunt my words. Perhaps that my reputation is not his to defend nor anyone else's. Or that this reputation he felt compelled to protect means nothing whatsoever to me. Or perhaps that the woman's comment was less a testament of my character than the reality of her marriage and her insecurities.

I thought about my mother. I thanked her for what little strength and wisdom she was able to pass onto me. With that, I pushed the accelerator further. I wanted to get home fast.